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Tuesday, May 16, 2006

A rare post about the Mariners, Seattle's once-again "other team"

How predictable are the Seattle Mariners and the local Seattle media? Very. At the beginning of the season everyone was lionizing a young pitcher named Felix Hernandez. He managed to acquire the nickname "King Felix" and to have at least one local news story about the pressure he faces as a potential Cy Young winner and a potential Hall of Famer. Naturally, I was skeptical.

Although I shared some very nice season tickets for something like eight years, I bowed out of that syndicate a couple of years ago. I'm what some people might call a "fair-weather fan" and what I call "someone who doesn't relish spending four hours watching the team lose." There was a time--back during the 116-win season that amounted to nothing--when the team would routinely spot their opponent a couple of runs in the early innings, only to come back like clockwork a little later. In the immortal words of Arnold Toht, that time is past.

To my knowledge, the Mariners have never developed a front-line, #1, ace-type pitcher. Certainly not during their modern era (now ended) of not sucking. Nor, with the exception of Randy Johnson, have they ever even employed such a pitcher.

But there have been plenty of hyped young pitchers who never lived up to their billing: Ken Cloude, Freddie Garcia, Gil Meche, Joel Pineiro, etc.--even John Halama got his few weeks of hype. (I'm not criticizing these pitchers--probably only one in dozens of young pitchers entering the majors is ever going to be a legitimate ace.)

Now it's Felix Hernandez's turn. Or maybe I should say it was his turn. After tonight's 10-run, four-inning performance against the A's he's 2-5 with a 5.19 ERA. There's plenty of time for him to turn it around, as they say in sports clichés, but history suggests he's more likely to be another example of overhyping and unfulfilled early potential.

By the way, I'm not really a fair-weather fan. I lived through some pretty grave years in the Kingdome. It did make for some good compositional opportunities back in the pre-blog era . . .

New Promotions at the Kingdome (1998)
  • "Relief Pitcher Night" -- First ten kids through the gates take home a Mariner relief pitcher of their very own and must never bring him back.

  • Boeing presents "Walks That Hurt" -- For each opposing baserunner walked home by the M's pitching staff, Boeing will lay off one machinist.

  • "Rotation Roulette" -- At the beginning of each Mariners' homestand, one bullpen pitcher will be inserted at random somewhere in the starting rotation.

  • Universal Press Syndicate presents "Charlie Brown Jersey Night."

  • Swifty's "Fanpen" -- Any time Bill Swift gets into the fifth inning, lucky fans seated in a randomly selected section/aisle/row will be invited to suit up for successive stretches of short relief.

  • "Fan-tasy RBI Night" -- Any time the Mariners load the bases, a lucky fan in a randomly selected seat will be invited down to the plate to swing away for a Mariner RBI.

  • "Fireworks That Help" detonated during Mariners' infield pop-ups.

  • Joey Cora's "Punt, Pass, Kick" Fielding Clinic for fans aged 8-14.

  • The Mariner Moose presents "Safe-and-Sane ATV Surfing Night."


posted at 11:32 PM

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