Here's a new one
Here's a new one: I was just invited to a shoeless garden party.
Don't get me wrong, I'm delighted to be invited to the social event of the season. However, I was involved in an online chat when the invite came in, and I've been a little lean on the material front since The Most Qualified Candidate in Our History dropped out and I got busy on a deal . . . so I'll present a lightly edited transcript. All in good fun, of course, since the guest of honor reads this blog."NOTE: we'll be shoeless in the backyard, so if you MUST wear socks with your sandals make sure they don't have holes."
10:16 PM me: no shoes outdoors
fucking unbelievable
that's what reminded me of the [story about persnickety person], go figure
10:17 PM MVS: HA HA
are you upset to be outside with no shoes on?
10:18 PM me: I think anyone who's ever stepped on a bee would be a little shaken up by this dangerous and irrational "house rule"
MVS: i have stepped on a bee and more than my share of nails
but...
10:19 PM i don't mind being barefoot
10:20 PM me: I don't think even the Franco regime had rules like that.
10:22 PM I'm struggling to get my imagination around a scenario where you would offer up your fragile back-yard ecosystem for a big bash and then mitigate the damage with a no-shoes policy.
Most people with no-shoes policies are worried about dirt.
However, yards and dirt are closely linked.
10:23 PM Perhaps they are worried about an insidious form of dirt theft, topsoil being tracked away.
10:24 PM MVS: or maybe they have some new grass that will feel really nice and soft under your feet
me: Well, one hopes.
10:25 PM But that gets back to my "don't volunteer your yard if it's that wimpy grass." issue
10:27 PM me: Shoe-free garden party.
10:30 PM MVS: Tip Toe Through the Tulips
me: Have you ever tried tiptoeing with no shoes on?
10:31 PM It might be hard.
10:32 PM But maybe not.
Maybe it's a really big yard and people will be sneaking up on one another all the time!
With any luck the completely rational explanation will show up in the comments before too long and we will all learn something.
EDITED TO ADD: I was just rereading the bit about socks and sandals. It can't possibly be that shoes are banned and sandals are allowed, right? Because that would be totally irrational . . . right? But it seems to suggest that if you want to come in goofball attire, you can. I am more confused than ever.
Labels: bottled water and other extremely weird things we consider "normal", composition fatigue, Only in Don't Trust Snakes
posted at 10:37 PM
4 Comments:
All I can say is when you want to invite 40 of your closest friends to someone else's house and they want your shoes off at the front door you don't pitch a fit.
The socks with sandals thing was a joke. If it's a health issue for you I'm sure we can come up with a solution...you can write your poem about how the unkind removal of your shoes is a burden.
Also I'm happy to provide a non-hillary topic.
Oh, so you won't have your shoes in the back yard because you will have left them in the front hall. But perhaps there will be no rule against carrying shoes from the front hall to the back yard and donning them afresh once safely clear of the semiconductor-etching-facility-slash-house.
A man can dream . . . a man can dream.
Yes, you will be able to carry your shoes through to the back yard, I'm sure if you avoid the WHITE carpet you might get away with walking through to the backyard with shoes on.
If the homeowner accosts you though... I might ask that you not go into a lengthy tirade about her bizarre needs, or like and say that you've got clubbed feet and without the shoes you just can't walk.
tee hee; who knew this would be THE issue to kill my enjoyment of a party 6 weeks before it even happens. I thought for sure it would have been the no non-white foods thing. (KIDDING! We can have off white foods too.)
who knew that
I guess we could have a big discussion about how asking people to use coasters is reasonable bur asking them to partially disrobe is, if not unreasonable, then at least not in the most generous spirit of being a host.
But I can't really be faulted for noting the absurdity of what appeared to be an invitation to an outdoor party at which shoes would not be permitted. Contrary to what the Evite implied, though, it seems the hosts have no problem with guests wearing shoes outside.
No one ever thinks about how some guests might be grossed out by the thought of walking on their untested floors without the protection of shoes. I'm not one of those people, but I'm sure they exist.
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