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Thursday, June 01, 2006

Listen up, marine!

In case you thought that going from house to house executing unarmed civilians was a "core warrior value" of the U.S. military, the newly-ordered extra training should put that notion to rest.

The training will cover such key topics as:
  • How to size up when to invade a civilian home and put nine rounds into the torso of the 76-year-old wheelchair-bound amputee living there;

  • How to do a threat assessment on the children in the home--ages eight, five, four and two months--before shooting them (full disclosure: the two-month old survived and may not have been shot at all, in keeping with the highest traditions of the Marine Corps and the United States Naval Service); and

  • How to determine when to deploy grenades against unarmed civilian survivors in their homes.


posted at 2:42 PM

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