457 neighborhoods?!?!
BAGHDAD, June 3 — Three months after the start of the Baghdad security plan that has added thousands of American and Iraqi troops to the capital, they control fewer than one-third of the city’s neighborhoods, far short of the initial goal for the operation, according to some commanders and an internal military assessment.O.K., it's a big, sprawling place, Cradle of Civilization and all that, but what city has 457 neighborhoods? We need to deploy corps of U.S. housing developers and real estate agents over there to get the number of neighborhoods under control, and spruce up the names while they're at it. And perhaps some sci-fi or fantasy writers could help reconfigure the map too. Haven't our planners and commanders ever heard of "optics"? Six months from now, we ought to be reading how we are protecting populations in and physically influencing, say, 147 out of the city's 193 neighborhoods. That's more than 75% of the neighborhoods!
The American assessment, completed in late May, found that American and Iraqi forces were able to “to protect the population” and “maintain physical influence over” only 146 of the 457 Baghdad neighborhoods. New York Times, June 4, 2007
Here are some examples of how it might work in practice:
Dora Farms Sadr City Al-Kadhimya Hurriya City Al-Mansour Hayy Al-Jihad Al-Saydiya Al-A'amiriya Al-Shu'ala Al-Ghazaliya Al-Za'franiya Hayy Ur Sha'ab City Al-Adel Al-Khadhraa Hayy Al-A'amel Triangle of Death Sadriya Khalis Palestine Street Fadhil Rasheed district Al Dura Risafi Shorja Iskan | Dora Acres Viewcrest Hammurabi Hills Frondhaven Mansourhurst Derbyshire Palmcrest Canal City Beacon Hill Sand Dell Washington Heights Sweetbriar Sweetbriar Corners Unincorporated Area Mosquetown Tigris Park Triangle of Sorrow (1) Forbidden Zone (2) Neutral Zone (2) Pleurisy Flats (2) Vale of Peril (1) Unhallowed Lands (1) Unhallowed Lands (1) Unhallowed Lands (1) Unhallowed Lands (1) Unhallowed Lands (1) |
(1) Fantasy-writer contribution
(2) Sci-fi-writer contribution
Labels: a modest proposal from MWR, Only in Don't Trust Snakes
posted at 9:57 PM
1 Comments:
Absolutely hilarious! I still think you should be writing for the Onion.
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