Don't Trust Snakes: How to be a flake

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“I know where I'm headed.”

ROGER THORNHILL

Monday, October 20, 2008

How to be a flake

(Not an exhaustive list)

Apply the maxim "To thine own self be true" to your smallest social behaviors, reconsidering daily what "thine own self" really means, and always concluding it means "whatever strikes my fancy at the time." Don't worry about any inconsistencies or mixed messages that may result—follow your heart!

Do the same things repeatedly, expecting different results.

Be unpredictably difficult to reach. Make full use of your cell phone's ability to be muted, turned off, in the other room, lost, etc. Check your voicemail and email at unpredictable intervals. Rarely acknowledge email or text messages.

When possible, take the path of least resistance socially.

Arbitrage your social schedule.

Don't be afraid to be the one who is always late.

Don't be afraid to be the one who is always changing or canceling plans.

If you blow off a commitment, never acknowledge how this affects other people.

Habitually over-promise and under-deliver.

Begin much and finish little.

Embrace lifestyle, relationship and personal-growth cliches.

2 Comments:

Anonymous said...: I'm sure there's a wonnnnnderful story behind each of these. :); October 21, 2008 12:32 AM
MWR said...: Sometimes a single blog entry can distill years of life experience.; October 21, 2008 2:07 AM