This city of the world, this blessed restaurant town, this Seattle . . . this uncharitable blog entry
This week saw the 2006 edition of Seattle Weekly's "Best of Seattle" issue, subtitled "Special World City Edition" and, indeed, deliberately skewed toward (or "flavored with," to use the editors' term) "immigrant Seattleites." So maybe that "best" bartender is just the best bartender born in Bulgaria (could be both!). I don't know. I do know that the whole concept—starting with the cover model, a med student and pageant winner of Chinese ancestry—belies Seattle's status as one of the whitest major cities in the country (the second-whitest, according to our other free Weekly paper, and third or fourth by my reckoning). But it seems that many people who live here do have an impaired enough perspective to really believe that this is an amazingly diverse "world city" kind of place. When I told my ex about the article citing this as the second-whitest city, she responded: "It's funny that Seattle is the second whitest major city since Seattle prides itself on being so liberal and sensitive to racial matters . . . when in reality most don't really have to deal with racial matters because they don't encounter racial minorities often." It's a very fair point about the lack of perspective that prevails here, which brings me to restaurants.It's really the restaurant portion of the "Best of Seattle" issue that prompts this entry. And I've been meaning to write for a while about the hollowness of Seattle's self-designation as a "great restaurant town." I'm not going to try defining "great restaurant town," by the way. But I should note that part of the reason Seattle is neither a "world-class city" nor a "great restaurant town" (hereinafter, "GRT") is that the city just isn't large enough. There are not enough people here to support either of those conceits.
But let's take a quick look at some things that inspired me to finally write this screed. Many of the selections in the "Best of Seattle" are based on reader voting. Some are made by the editors. In scrutinizing the Weekly's selections, I see little need to distinguish between reader and staff selections, because a GRT should have a savvy-palated population and a discerning food press.
- Best 24-Hour Restaurant - 13 Coins. Truly, there is no 24-hour restaurant culture here. Not long ago a friend, a recent transplant from L.A., was quizzing me for leads about distinctive 24-hour restaurants. I came up with 13 Coins and . . . I think nothing else. (By the way, as you read this entire post, locals, please do so with the invitation to enlighten me ringing in your ears.)
- Best Pizza - Pagliacci. Nothing against Pagliacci per se, but in many cities you would not even cross a yellow-lined street to eat Pagliacci pizza. Just being honest. (Incidentally, if you like pizza, take a trip up to #1 New York Pizza in Clearview, of all places. Contrary to what someone wrote on the linked site, Clearview is not north of Snohomish, but south.)
- Best Hot Dog - Costco. Come on. As our A.P. English teacher once memorably wrote on my best friend's paper, stop it, just stop it! I'm sure they're fabulous, and a screaming deal at $1.50, but I'm just not buying that people in a GRT would conclude that the best hot dogs come from a warehouse store. What must they think of us in Chicago? Actually . . . let's not tell them.
- Best Barbecue - Jones Barbecue. It's not bad, and some others are not bad either. But all of our barbecue places would go out of business if they were located anywhere with a proper barbecue culture. I'm not saying it should be otherwise, or that I expect otherwise, but merely reporting. Most of them don't even serve Dr. Pepper, for God's sake.
- Best Sushi - Wasabi Bistro. Full disclosure is that I have not eaten at Wasabi Bistro, at least not in its current incarnation (I think there was a place with a similarly schizophrenic name in Belltown where I did eat years ago and it was nothing worth mentioning.) So how do I know that Wasabi Bistro doesn't have such great sushi? Remember that classic "X-Files" episode where the little cloned girls each exsanguinated their adoptive fathers, on opposite coasts, at the same moment? Their signature line was "We just knew." Same principle.
- Best Cheers-Like Sushi Place - Toyoda Sushi. I'm sure it's just my bad luck that this unaccountably popular spot fobbed off old fish on me when I placed a takeaway order on New Year's Eve. Some of it didn't outlast whatever year that was.
- Best Local Chef - Tom Douglas. Maybe ten years ago.
- Best French Chef - Thierry Rautureau. I was treated to dinner at Rover's for my birthday one year. Although it was a quiet Tuesday and there was only one other table of diners, Chef Rautureau never made it out of the kitchen for one of those meet-and-greets so popular among celebrity chefs and short-con operators. Indeed, there was no visual confirmation that Chef Rautureau was even present, and I concluded without proof that he had taken the evening off. The check came to more than $300 for two, including one $40 bottle of wine. I think we could have had the tasting menu at Le Bernardin for less. The food, while very well executed, was not especially memorable, and the kitchen's efforts to incorporate "luxury" ingredients like fois gras into multiple courses seemed forced.
- Best Ice Cream Innovators - Mora Iced Creamery. I know nothing about this business (in Bellevue and on Bainbridge Island), but seeing the category reminded me that Seattle is notoriously lame in the ice cream department. What can I say, I went to college in Cambridge, Massachusetts. However, do try the rice (riso) gelato at Gelatiamo.
- Best New Restaurant in the Last Year - Crush. Named either for something vintners do with grapes, or your proximity to neighboring strangers while dining. I like Crush, but the best new restaurant in the last year in a GRT should be stunning. It should knock your socks off.
posted at 3:59 PM
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