Shoeless or clueless?
We all know people who choose to go shoeless in their own homes. What interests me is the absolutist streak some people have when it comes to maintaining a shoeless home. You have to figure that 95% of the traffic in the average home comes from the occupants of the home. So if they elect to go shoeless in their home, they've achieved 95% of the benefit of fully shoeless traffic right there. But, for some, the value of getting the last 5% shoeless traffic gets inflated beyond its true importance. If they found out carrots were good for them, they still wouldn't eat only carrots, but the logic of incremental benefits and moderation can sometimes be elusive. The same person who said "I've eaten carrots all week; I can have steak with my guests" is likely to have a different view about guests wearing shoes in an otherwise shoeless house. BECAUSE SHOELESS IS THE RULE!
The obvious counterpoint is that it costs guests nothing to remove their shoes. But that would be merely an assumption.
My view is that there is value to being a generous and gracious host that probably outweighs the incremental benefit to rugs or bare floors—each designed to encounter footwear—of avoiding the last 5% of shod traffic. Being a welcoming host means saying "come as you are" to guests, within reason. Guests should be made to feel at home, not like they need to partially disrobe.
Just once I'd like to say to a host (and, being a gracious guest, I never would), "Actually, if you don't mind, I don't want material from your floors to stick to my socks or bare feet." The point is not whether some rug cost more than my socks—it's about the spirit of welcoming hospitality.
posted at 1:10 PM
7 Comments:
YOU CRACK ME UP!!!!!!!!!
Oh, your tender tootsies!
Usually the reason people have this rule is that their houses/floors are actually quite clean, and the number one way dirt hits the floors is from outside shoes. Don't ever travel to a Japanese home hoping to wear shoes inside. It's considered very insulting.
Yes, I was talking about homes in the U.S. (Don't ever try to drive in Saudi Arabia.) Japanese hosts typically provide house slippers for guests, if I'm not mistaken.
I find that by wearing shoes I don't have to worry about getting my socks or feet dirty, stepping on a stray piece of glass, etc. I'm not overly worried about such things, but some people might be.
Oh, M, what would we do without you?
Most friends coming to my house see the pile of shoes in the entry hall and automatically remove theirs without me saying anything (or they've been over before and know we have a preference for shoelessness). Certainly I don't request that people remove their shoes if they're going to be heading out to the back yard in a matter of moments, and if they're not going to be going upstairs (= on the carpet) for any reason, I won't press the issue if I mention it at all.
Much more common than me bringing it up is people asking if I would prefer that they remove their shoes. I dunno--you've been to my house on multiple occasions. If you've ever felt I was being less than perfectly hospitable with my shoe preferences, please forgive me.
It would be necessary to invent me.
You are very low key about it and, as noted, I think I'm a very easy and accommodating guest.
The main point of the entry is that some people are absolutist about the shoeless thing and probably haven't even considered whether imposing on guests is worth it to secure the last 5% of benefit from general shoelessness.
The inspiration for the entry is that some people have things backward and seem to want me to feel in the wrong on this issue. Prissy house rules imposed on invited guests do not a generous host make. In my perhaps bizarrely idiosyncratic view, an obligation to remove shoes, whether imposed, suggested or implied, erodes the proper host/guest relation in a way that handing someone a coaster does not.
Several years ago when this topic was hotly debated between 2 Seattle Times columnists, reader input was solicited. My comment, which was the first of 10 printed, used the following words: spitting, puddles of unknown fluids,vomit, dog/bird/unidentified poop, spilled food,real garbage,and pesticides. You and the current "comment-ers" have neatly side-stepped all this nasty stuff which is,to me, the heart of the matter.
NOT IN MY LIVING ROOM--NOT ON MY ANTIQUE ORIENTAL RUGS! YUCK.
Thanks for bringing this subject up.
I would say there is no reason why guests' shoes would be any cleaner than one's own. They could bring in awful stuff like weed killer or lead paint. So I do think those of us who want 100% shoe-free homes are justified.
Anyway, I have an whole blog about this subject: Shoes Off at the Door, Please You might want to take a look.
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